Challenge Scene 1: Escaping

Apr 20, 2013 by

I’ve already told you about my challenge scenes  (here if you didn’t see it) and how they’re a good way for me to pinpoint a specific thing I want to work on, but what I didn’t tell you was my main problem with them: actually writing them. They can be a lot of fun but sometimes I don’t want to try to figure out the best way to describe something I just want to write a quick funny scene, and sometimes I don’t feel like trying to come up with one.

But I’ve found a solution to my problem: you. While writing fanfiction I found that it’s easier to make yourself write when you’ve promised it to someone else; I told my readers that I’d post every Monday, so the last thing I wanted to do was log on Monday to post ‘sorry guys, I was lazy.’ That would have been embarrassing for me and disappointing for them (especially when cliffhangers are involved.)

I want to be an author and this blog is supposed to help me get there, and this seems a like a good way for me to make myself do the work while letting you see my writing; so you can expect one of these each month.

Now on to this month’s scene. My challenge was action and description (which is actually the first time I’ve rolled two in one), it’s about a 1000 words. Also it might not make much sense if you don’t know a little about Sonic The Hedgehog.


            “Huh, huh, huh,” the hedgehog panted heavily as she ran, crashing into trees and stumbling over rocks as she did so; she barely noticed it though, the grass that cut her legs, the obstacles that bruised her as she bumped into them, the humid air that made it hard to breathe, the sweat that stuck her blonde fur together and ran into her eyes stinging them; none of it mattered in comparison to the loud whirring that was behind her.

The sound crept louder and louder along with the sounds of saws and trees crashing to the ground.

Her foot caught on a vine and she lurched forward face first into the dirt. Fatigue and pain caught up with her, making her unable to get back up. She lifted her head. Her lungs stung as she attempted to catch her breath.

The whirring overwhelmed her ears as the last wall of trees in between her and her pursuer fell.

Five ball shaped robots flew up, they each had two arms attached to buzz saws, and faces made up of screens and metal that were reminiscent of their master. “Runaway located, what are our orders?” One asked in a hi-pitched metallic voice.

“Master has what he needs,” another said in the same voice. “Eliminate the fugitive.”

Her heart pounded even faster than before as she started to hyperventilate.

The robots hovered closer.

Suddenly a blue streak flashed before her eyes and shot over her. She turned onto her back to see the blur slam into one of the robot’s arms, knocking into another one’s body.

The pierced robot sputtered before blowing up. The explosion knocked the other to the ground.

The blur dropped to the ground now looking like a hedgehog as he landed on his hands and knees with his back to the girl.

Bright, blue, fast. “Sonic?!” she choked out.

He rose to his feet, glaring at the robots. “Not on my watch.”

“Objective changed,” said a robot. “Destroy the attacker.”

He smirked. “I’d like to see you try.” He leaped into the air while rolling into a ball and flung himself at it.

The metal orb swung it’s saw as he came to it. Both flew backwards to the ground from the impact.

Sonic gritted his teeth in pain and grabbed his right shoulder. Sliding his fingers away he saw a deep cut.

“Sonic!” yelled the girl.

He looked up to see the two remaining robots heading towards him. He pulled himself up, holding his wounded arm close to him. He took a few quick steps backwards and rushed forward at one of them.

The targeted robot held its saw in front of it.

His eyes widened and he jumped back on his heels, skidding across the dirt and finally stopping so close to the buzz saw that he could feel air off of it on his nose. He barely had time to realize how lucky he’d been before it lifted its saw to swing. He spun to the left and swiftly ducked before getting decapitated by the other robot.

Realizing that he was now in between the two he had a plan and leaped up as they started to swing. He grabbed onto a tree branch with his left hand and looked down at the two robots staring up at him. “Huh, that usually works.”

The robots ascended after him.

He swung and flipped up onto the branch. He heard the sound of a saw cutting wood and leaped onto a nearby branch before the other one fell. He looked over his shoulder to see what the metal menaces were up to next.

One was heading for him while the other was cutting away at the base of the tree. He smirked at it. He hopped, flipping direction and crouched.

The other extended its saw and charged at him.

He waited until it was a few feet away and jumped, leaping right over it and came down on the one cutting the tree.

It crashed into the ground but being round it rolled out from under Sonic’s feet and he fell on his hurt arm.

“AGGH!” his face contorted in pain.

The last robot saw its chance and charged for him.

The girl picked up a large stick and ran for the robot, hitting it in the side.

The robot stopped suddenly at the impact and turned to her. “New attacker,” it sliced its saw across the stick.

“Oh great…” she ducked as it swung horizontally at her then stepped back as it swung its other saw vertically.

It held both saws back, ready to swing.

She leaped back, the saws whizzing past her face, and stumbled into a tree trunk.

“Hey!” He yelled calling its attention. He held up one of the destroyed robot’s arms and rushed for it.

It held up its own saw and blocked before swinging its other at him.

He ducked and stepped backwards quickly until he backed into a tree.

It extended a saw towards him.

He threw the arm to the side and held his arms out.

The girl gasped as the robot charged for him.

Seconds before impact he spun to the side.

The robot kept going ramming its saw into the trunk. It started to pull it back out when Sonic roundhouse kicked it from behind, slamming it into the tree and its own buzz saw. It sparked and spasmed. He jumped back right before it blew up.

He sighed with relief. “That was close,” he looked at her. “You OK…” he thought for a second “Cam?”

“OK enough,” she said trying to stable herself against the tree.

He looked over the scrapped robots. “So what’s Eggman calling these? Eggsaws? Eggorbs?” he laughed and looked back at her. He flinched when he saw her glaring daggers at him. “Ouch, what’d I do?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Where were you?!”

“Another world in need of saving,” he attempted a smirk but frowned when she didn’t let up.

“You were gone for nearly a year and a half!”

“Wow,” his eyes widened slightly. “Didn’t realize it took me that long. Guess time flies when-”

She balled her hands into fists and threw them downward. “STOP MAKING JOKES!”

He flinched as her voice became shrill. “OK, OK,” he put his hands up defensively. “I’m sorry. But it’s OK, I’m here now. I’ll just stop Eggman again.”

“You don’t get it,” her face started to turn red. “Eggman already won!”

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