I Know God Holds You

My journey towards parenthood was not as difficult as it is for many, and it was still marked by grief and fear. Along the way I had two miscarriages, losses that were hard to grapple with. Few people knew about them. I had never been taught how to grieve them, or what to believe about them.

When I began writing hymns, I wondered if it would be possible to sing about this kind of loss in a congregation. I wanted a place for it in community life. I wanted those who experience it to feel less alone.

While I was writing, I started to remember other griefs that I have accompanied people through, and noticed similarities. Many losses come too soon, even after years of shared life and love. And while not everyone in a community has had a pregnancy loss, almost everyone knows grief in some form. A song grounded in a very specific experience became more general.

I sent a draft to my editor at GIA, Adam Tice. He forwarded it to Kate Williams, Vice President of Sacred Music, who edited a book and album titled Of Womb and Tomb: Prayer in Time of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Stillbirth.

Within a few hours, I received an audio track that she had created with a song that was just what I had needed — and what I continue to need — to accompany and ease my sense of loss. It was an amazing gift to me, and I hope it will be a gift to many others. Our love goes on.

You can find the piece here and listen to Kate sing it below.